Thursday, July 24, 2008

dis is a old fb note i wrote like 2 months ago..

soo a cpl days ago i hit up my ex-grl and for da first time in a long time we really jus talked on sum chill shit ..she told me dat she shes talking 2 her ex again and now they r really good friends..and im like how can u talk 2 a nigga u told me u hate..a nigga who took ur virginity and smashed ur cuzin at da same time..a nigga who got u pregnant and when u lost da baby pretty much said fuck u and moved on...she said "o we r both older now and thats in da past" it was sum reg shit..i was like wtf ok go head she kept talkin ...tellin me dat she saw him at her church conference in VA 2 wks ago and they fucked ..i was like y u fuckin a nigga who jus got married and has a baby wit his wife..shes like im not tryna get in da middle of his marriage im like...u def jus did when u fucked him..and disrespected his marriage..shes like dats nuthin i fucked him last yr when he wasnt married and didnt have a kid..i thought for a min and said 2 myself..WE WENT OUT FOR a YR soo...U CHEATED ON ME???

she said yea..said she was bitter over da fact that i cheated on her a cpl months b4..i cheated on her and it was krazi cuz im really not a cheater..i would talk 2 my friends and they would tell me oo da nigga cheated on me and i would b like yoo drop dat nigga he aint feeling u if he did dat ..and then i went and cheated ..being a total hypocrite of everything i believe in...i honestly thought we were ova it ..but of course a women neva forgets months after we broke up she tells me she cheated on me 2..i went off on sum real out of all da niggas u cheat on me wit ..u cheat on me wit dat nigga?!!! like wtf ..i pretty much looked at her as wifey..yungin i would def marry in a cpl yrs ..and i cant look at her da same bcuz i look at it like this..if dis nigga does her wrong her cheeks..she tells me she hates him and i try and pick up da pieces of a shattered relationship..she cheats on me wit him..and even after our relationship still fucks him..then marrying u would b pointless cuz dat nigga can get what i call mines netime he wants...

i look at it like im a rebound nigga..i told her dat..asked her was it worth it ...she said yea..said that shes sorry i found out like dat but now i feel her pain? who da fuck says shit like dat...newayz..i told her i kno all of that wasnt revenge..cuz theres so many ways u could have got revenge and u did it wit dat nigga..u pretty much fucked dat nigga cuz u still had feelings for him..and u dont care bout nebody else bout urself..if u really loved me ..u wouldnt even try dat revenge shit..u would try and help me me for me ..and work harder wit our relationship..(of course she got all quiet) then she started talkin 2 me like i was a child dat she disciplined and explaining y she did what she had 2..told me if i dont talk 2 her again she will understand and i should use this as a stepping stone and 2 not act funny 2 any otha grl im in a relationship cuz of what she did...i was like yung i aint tryna hear ur bullshit right now ..real talk i fucked up but im a good ass nigga and me and u kno it..ur in a fucked up cycle dat not even I can get u out of i hope u got what u wanted and i signed out on her ass(yea..we were talkin on aim for like half of it lol)

anotha one of my ex's i went out wit ..we went out for a while on sum chill shit ..and she aint wanna have sex wit me bcuz of shit her boifriend did which is all types of fucked up...and so sex was jus a no-go i respected dat and we jus worked on our relationship until it wasnt working out bcuz of da long distance..she hit me up 2 months later and told me she was pregnant wit another niggas baby like wtf..u aint even go out wit dat nigga??..i was angry..but i was still there for her cuz im a caring ass nigga and if i fuck wit u ..then im a alwayz b there for u regardless of what happened between us in da past....but she eventually lost da baby and as much as i tried 2 b there i couldnt cuz i jus felt like everything she told me in our relationship was bullshit...

bcuz of these experiences whole perception of women have changed..i honestly dont give a fuck bout feelings nemore.i cant....i think love is a 4 letter word made up by somebody dat has changed da whole world and binds ppl 2 relationships bcuz they use it 2 loosely..and until some grl comes along and proves me wrong..then im jus gonna act like a 20 yr old nigga dat dosent see marriage in his future for a long time..go out party and bullshit new ppl..and jus chill..cuz i honestly dont believe in love right now ..i understand where u coming from bakari when u say good guys finish last bcuz both of my x's went out wit fucked up niggas who mentally or physically abused them..cheated on them more then once..and they knew bout it and kept it moving..having longer relationships with the fucked up niggas then me ..(a good nigga)...when i was in college alot of my niggas was like u aint getting pussy over here u a wack nigga and would try and go on me bout it ...and im a chill nigga.. if im in a relationship i dont have 2 run around beating different pussies in college 2 make myself feel good...but now i really dont kno how 2 act cuz when i was acting like a real nigga and not chasing pussy when i was in relationships ..i still got shitted i jus dunno what 2 do nemore..i guess im jus really confused

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